a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize