So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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