he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My dick has a subreddit
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
