It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
