Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
