We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
