guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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