She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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