Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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