im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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