How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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