I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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