He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize