I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
