My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
