Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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