Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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