How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
