Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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