i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
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I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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