If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
