new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
