Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
