I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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