I want to make a zoo with you.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
