sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Randomize
