just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
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Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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