he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
