you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
