I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.