She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sex on roller skates
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.