and then he started using my ass as a stressball
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
