3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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