I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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