it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
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