when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
