the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
