Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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