We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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