I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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