How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize