Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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