he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
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In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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