Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
