Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I have aggressive nipples.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
