i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
