You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
