I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
