it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm at about main and main street
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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