I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
