Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
