Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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