he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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