I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
