I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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